Max Lucado/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Recognize the name Max Lucado? I didn’t either before day. But he is an author, clergyman and believer in the human capacity to achieve and to grow in life. Here are two quotes, both of them in the spirit of Win-Win and mediation process:

“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional”
It is wise to recognize that conflict with others is inevitable in life. But why make it a case for WW III? We do not always choose to be in conflict, but we surely can choose NOT to be in combat with others.

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner.”
It sometimes feels way too sweet to carry a grudge or blame another for adversity. However, remember who pays the price for those feelings. Learn how to set yourself free from painful conflicts and confrontation.

Mediate don’t litigate.

Beyond Hatred/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

The online version of The Atlantic magazine (October 2019)has a good read on General James Mattis, entitled “The Man Who Couldn’t Take it Anymore” by Jeffrey Goldberg. The follow snippet is insightful to all who practice mediation. “‘ General Mattis quotes President Lincoln’s famous phrase “With malice toward none, with charity for all”. The General then sums up the impact of the statement in just a few words: “Lincoln said that in the middle of a war. In the middle of a war. He could see beyond the hatred of the moment.”

Many disputes such as divorce disputes, family disputes, etc. can easily contain toxic issues and conversation. But families need to get back together again and divorcing couples with children need to co-parent once again. How does one put the rancor of the immediate challenge. “See beyond the hatred of the moment.” There is no choice nor alternative. Negativity carried to the extreme can destroy people. Futures can be ruined. What is the solution. “See beyond the hatred of the moment”. Mediate don’t litigate.