Listening and Mediation/Martin Rosenfeld, JD,Ed.M.

A good mediator must be a good listener. What happens when one feels s/he is being heard? William Ury, mediator guru, sums it all up in one sentence: “When you listen to someone, it’s the most profound act of respect.” Many complain in life that they are not “being heard”. It is often no wonder; we are looking at i-phones, computer screens, and breaking news on our tablets. What does that do for one’s feeling of self-worth and esteem. A good mediator listens. If successful, she can get the parties to listen to each other. Once respect enters the equation, all becomes possible. Win-Win is not too far behind. Te Dalai Lama said it this way: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Respect, listen, resolve your dispute.