Konrad Adenauer was the first Chancellor of what became West Germany. In his long life, Adenauer’s commitment to Germany as a statesman, led to much acclaim. In a public television poll in in 2003, Mr. Adenauer was selected as the greatest German of all time. He was famous for this one quote “We all live under the same sky, but we don’t have the same horizon.”
Why is this mediation post discussing Konrad Adenauer? The answer lies in a column written for the WSJ by Walter Russell Mead on May 21, 2019. (“Palestinians Need to Get Real About Israel”.) Mr. Mead maintains that perhaps it is not a two-State solution that Israel and the Palestinians need but rather a “one state solution”. The author then makes this assertion about the Palestinians:”They need a Konrad Adenauer: a leader who can accept military defeat and painful territorial losses while building a prosperous future through reconciliation with the victors.”
WWhether one agrees with Mr. Mead or not, his statement packs a punch in the context of dispute resolution. We do not always emerge from “battle” with victory. At times, our losses are painful. But to overcome defeat, we must first learn to deal with it. I recently saw a quote to the effect that if we seek to destroy our adversary and attain revenge, we need to dig two graves rather than one. There are losses in life and losses at the bargaining table. At times the justice we crave nevertheless eludes us. Reconciliation with our opponent is not always a possibility. But perhaps in the course of the mediation process we can learn to accept what has befallen us and then make the effort to overcome and move on. Who wants to dig a grave for themself?