Being Curious/Martin Rosenfeld,JD

Dr. Dan Shapiro of the Harvard Program on Negotiation makes a simple proposal for moving forward when a party is angered by some aspect of a negotiation. Ask them why they are upset. It is best to make this an “I” statement. For example, consider asking “Is there something that I said (or s/he said) that has caused you to have this negative reaction?”. Encourage them to talk about the issue that is on their mind. The late radio psychologist, Dr. Joy Browne, often advised “Be curious not furious”. Consider ways to encourage conversation and not ways that tends to stifle the free exchange that is needed.

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