An article appeared on March 22,2019, on the website for the periodical “Fast Company”. It is entitled “Why the ‘Velvet Hammer’ is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism”. The gist of the article is that there is indeed a proper way to deliver “bad news” to a party. The following explanation speaks for itself:
“Giving negative feedback is important in many situations. If you delay or don’t approach a sensitive subject, it’s like not telling a friend they have spinach in their teeth.
‘If you have spinach in your teeth, do you want to know or not?’ asks [Joy] Baldridge. ‘It’s still there. When something needs to be said, most people in the organization know it. Everyone, that is, except for the person who needs the feedback. It’s like a someone walking around the office with a ‘kick me’ sign on [their] back.’ “
If in a negotiation you need to strike at a weakness of your counterpart, employ the “velvet hammer”. Make your comments clinical and fact-based. You may not be met with approval, but you have advanced the possibility of having your words heard. Firmness in a position does not have to be mean-spirited or vindictive. Mediation don’t litigate.